WHY DON'T WE GET THE BASICS OUT OF THE WAY.
My full name is Sean Evan Rourke. I hate my middle name, though, so I usually just write 'E' on things. Nicknames? Well, I get called all kinds of fish names because of my mouth. It doesn't really bother me, though; if that's the best they can do, I really don't have anything to feel bad about, right? And some people call me Black Swan because of my dancing. If people knew just how much of a perfectionist I really am... well, it's a bit on the nose, no matter how you look at it.
I'm seventeen, born at the beginning of the school year; September 5th. Kind of sucks that I'm celebrating every year right when school starts, but at least it gives me something to look forward to. I'm a Junior at Landsburg. I'm a professional dancer but I still study. I hope to get into Juilliard, but failing that, I do already have a career, but I'd like to study in France.
I guess I'm a pretty sociable person. I'm not the butterfly some of the others are and it's hard for me sometimes to initiate. Forget that, it's hard for me all the time. So, what I usually do is just walk over with a smile and say 'hi'. I know, dumb, right? I'm sure alot of the more uh... socially adept people think I'm dumb and a huge dork. I guess I am a little of both. But I'm just a simple guy who likes other people. For the most part, if you're there, I want to be your friend. I guess that makes me come off as needy but it's not like that at all. And after a few times, if you've shown me being my friend isn't what you want, I move on. Sometimes, though, I have trouble telling when it's that and when it's something else.
Because of social miscues and despite my efforts, I'm a loner alot of the time. I like to hang out in places I shouldn't; closed buildings, graveyards after dark, confessional booths, wherever. And when I don't have somewhere to be, I wander. Both of those things are why I ended up a part of the local punk rock scene, and even though it's dangerous and could end my career, I party hard with them whenever I get the chance.
Also, I work hard. I see so many people skating by not having to put much effort into anything they do, and it boggles the mind. I don't have great grades, but I work hard for what I get. And everything I do professionally; it's countless hours of sweat, tears, and yeah, even the cliched blood. If I sense a good work ethic in another person, it makes me proud to be around them.
I HEAR YOU HAD QUITE THE CHILDHOOD...
Let's see. I was born in Tacoma. That's Washington. The state. My dad left when I was a baby and got remarried and I don't really know him. I have a sister I've never met. I started training in ballet at four and at eight my mom took me out of school to train full time, deciding to hire private tutors. For awhile, we moved all over, usually because of a man she intended to marry. That's why we went to France when I was twelve. And when things blew up, she needed a break and uh...
I lived with my dance instructor for three years. Then that didn't work out and we moved; my mom and I, I mean; back to the states. To Chicago. Last year I begged to attend real school like a real boy and she relented. It was my first venture into the world of public school and I had quite the crash course. But I'm the better for it, I think. Dance kids have a unique sub culture that nobody really knows about, and I needed more. And uh... yeah, I got it.
WHAT ARE SOME OF YOUR LIKES AND DISLIKES?
I like... well, I like to dance. That's kind of a gimme since I do it all the time, but I really do love it. It feels good to do something I'm good at, and if it comes to the body and movement, I'm generally a quick study. And like dance, I love music. And I mean, all music; I grew up listening to classical but honestly I love silly, stupid pop music just as much. If I'm not using my ears for something else or I'm somewhere it's strictly forbidden (and even sometimes then), I have my music going. It's always -- a constant. I'm a huge fan of all things 80s. Anybody who knows me knows I'm a big 80s nerd; music, fashion, movies, the whole shebang. I've seen every Hughes movie ever like a hundred times and I quote them all the time. I have a weakness for chocolate milkshakes. I never have them, but I want one every day. I'm addicted. I read alot; mostly trashy stuff like sci-fi, noir, comic books. Also? I just found out I love motorcycles. Love. I'm gonna marry one.
Dislikes? Well, I don't eat red meat. Except when... well, sometimes I forget I don't eat it. I hate dishonesty and purposeful, obstructive vagueness. I hate when people are mean to eachother. I hate having to be mean. I hate opening my big mouth and saying the exact wrong thing, which I tend to do alot, even if there's no way I could know what I shouldn't be saying. It's like I have this taboo sense and it pings and out comes the exact thing the other person didn't want to hear. But this isn't supposed to be about me, right? Yeah, I hate when I lose track of myself and ramble about things nobody wants to hear. Um, I... don't like a big pile of big words when a small group of them works better except the guy using the big words feels like a big person for stringing them together. Is that enough? I'm not really comfortable talking about this...
HOW ABOUT SOME TURN ONS AND TURN OFFS?
A tight body really turns me on. You know, small waist with hips I can take hold of. That area of a girl just... really... well, I like it. I'm a dancer, and I guess I'm just really appreciative of that sort of aesthetic. Plus, I like being able to lift them. -laughs- Personality, wise, a good sense of humor. I mean, everybody can laugh at a joke, but someone who's, like, truly fearless and loves laughter, laughs at herself and laughs out of joy instead of some kind of social jockeying performance. Someone who's not afraid to be silly. That's the kind of person I'll fall for, every time. I guess the other biggest turn on would be someone who's affectionate. Somebody who likes to touch and be touched. I'm a very tactile person, I experience things through my senses, I live inside my body, not just my head. I'm really into girls who are the same.
Turn offs? Well, I hate liars. Everybody seems like they have some kind of agenda, some ulterior motive. It's been like that around me since I was four. Those kinds of people really tire me out, and the second I sense that in somebody, I start to disengage.
I HEAR YOU'VE GOT SOME NASTY HABITS...
I don't have much willpower at parties. I'm usually the first one to get naked. I guess I like people looking at me. *laughs*
Also, I tend to ramble when I'm nervous. I'm alot better than I used to be, but I still do it sometimes.
WHAT ABOUT PHOBIAS? HAVE ANY OF THOSE?
Mostly, I'm just afraid of not being able to dance. Everything else, I can deal with as long as I have that.
I'm afraid that everybody I care about is going to leave me behind.
TERRIFYING! HOW'S THE LOVE LIFE GOING?
I'm single. Don't cry for me, Chicago, it's really okay. I'm really kind of glad to be. I'm straight. Oh, virginity? Lost that a while ago.
WHAT ARE YOUR MAJOR GOALS AFTER GRADUATION?
I want to dance. There really is no backup plan. I know that's extremely naïve and possibly stupid but it's really the only thing I can envision myself doing. When I can't dance, I'll probably teach. Maybe I'll get a really cool cane I can use to tap out rhythms for dance steps. Yeah...
BEFORE WE GO, WHAT'S YOUR BIG SECRET?
I've been home schooled all the way up until my Sophomore year. So sheltered about the way civilians act.
When I was twelve, while we were living out of the country, my mom made my dance coach my legal guardian. When I was thirteen, we started having sex. It lasted until my mom found out and moved us back to the US.
AND WHAT ARE YOUR VIEWS ON SECRET SAFE?
I try not to follow it. It's never done me any favors, so me and it aren't on speaking terms. Honestly, I thought it was over...
THANKS FOR YOUR TIME.
Well, thanks for the interview and I guess we're done? Did I say too much?
Out Of Character
Gender / Age: Old boy.
Contact Info: AIM EphemeristX
Other Characters: David Ward and Mike Hawthorne
User Title: The Corrupted Danseur
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Pain. Air knocked out of the lungs. Stars. The faintest call of a voice; a man shouting, "Again!" No quarter, no give. Love at arms length. Pride in the way he repeats himself, expecting nothing less than everything.
And Sean gets up.
Pushes past the pain before the stars even stop twinkling in front of his eyes. Before his instructor has to say it a third time. Before a hand could be offered by his helpful -- if conveniently slow to help -- understudy. Even now, even friends, the knife point tasting the skin on his back. It's that realization that gets him moving.
He blinks. Hand outstretched, but he doesn't grasp the waiting grip of his help/competitor/deathwisher. It slides past him, into the air, into the lights, as if it's those themselves that are lifting him up, his body slack and useless for a tenth of a second and then alive again. Strong. On his feet even as the air fights to return to his lungs, to refill his emptied, sweaty, shaken shell. Back in time before he even remembers exactly what he's supposed to be in time for. And he does it again.
This time Sean doesn't fall.